Over the last six years all I have wanted to do career-wise is photography. I quit my retail job to finally get set up and over a year later...I'm still not really set up.
Admittedly, having a baby hasn't really helped with that but it's mostly the fact that I've been waiting for over a year for my studio space. At first I was going to have one built into my garden, but Mum changed her mind and made into a workshop for herself instead. Then my sister was going to let me use her spare room but never got round to emptying it. Finally, the spare room in my house has been emptied, redecorated and created into a studio space.
Except now I don't even know if I want it.
Because it's taken so long to get anywhere with my business, it's given me time to doubt myself and my abilities. I feel like I'll just be wasting my time trying to build a career with photography. But part of me wants to try and prove that the money I've spent on my equipment etc. was worth it.
I have considered keeping the studio for personal use until Charlie is old enough to have his own room, but then I might get clients from sharing my own photos? Ugh, I don't know, this is so difficult. Photography is really the only thing I'm good at, but even then I feel like I'm mediocre. It doesn't help with being a blogger, and being surrounded by gorgeous photos all the time that I just can't seem to reach the standard of. In theory that should encourage me to step up my game but, as always, it just brings me down and makes me want to give up.
I honestly don't know what I'm going to do in regards to my business but for now I'm going to get the room finished off and enjoy taking photos of my beautiful son.