Stressed & Struggling

I really thought my next blog post would a happy, looking-forward-to-March one but I have been so stressed lately. I know I'm always stressed but my head has literally been buzzing for days because of it. I feel like life is constantly throwing me curve balls and nothing ever seems to go right. Nothing is easy for me. I never feel confident in any decisions, and then when I finally make one, something comes along to fuck it up. I just don't know what to do for the best.

I thought things were going to get better, but I recently had my tarot cards read again and apparently I'm in for some bullshit over the next few months. Fucking great. Apparently I need to concentrate on myself and do what's best for me. I've been fucking trying to but I just don't know what to do. I really just want to bury myself in a hole and cry myself to sleep. I just want to be somewhere that feels like home, be able to work like I want to and be fucking happy. 

I really feel like March is going to be the making or breaking of me. I know exactly where I want to be, but whether I'll get there or not is a totally different matter. I just wish I wasn't so easily thrown off track. I think I need to spend the next day or two concentrating on myself, making a plan to help me get to where I want to be and maybe someday. I'll get there. I just don't feel very positive right now.