Lately I've been really struggling with depression and anxiety again. I've been feeling incredibly low and been having really horrible thoughts towards myself and I hate it so much. I hate feeling hopeless and helpless and like everyone would be better off without me. I have tried to talk to my GP but I literally cannot get an appointment. I end up being on hold for 15-30 minutes and get told there's no appointments left at 8:15am even though I was fifth in the queue. It's beyond a joke! So I've been trying to help myself.
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Admittedly I have been using some unhealthy coping methods. Staying in bed all day occasionally, using a vape for a nicotine rush even though I'm a non-smoker. Turning to alcohol. Although to be fair I got myself a vape so I would ease up on the alcohol and it's actually worked! I don't even use the vape everyday and I haven't had an alcoholic drink in weeks. Now, onto my healthy habits.
Keep up with personal hygiene
Not having a daily wash or brushing your teeth becomes so easy when you're struggling with depression. Making a point of still looking and feeling clean makes me feel so much better. Some days I'll make an effort with my outfit and try to look really good but even changing into a fresh set of loungewear after a shower makes me feel better.
Hobbies
I'm trying to make a conscious effort of not just wasting my days off work watching TV. Although I am loving watching The Kardashians at the moment. Currently my main hobby is playing Animal Crossing again. I decided to completely restart my island and I've been enjoying playing the story again and having things to aim for within the game. It's giving me a sense of accomplishment! I'm also enjoying reading again, I've charged up my kindle and I'm switching between reading a self-help book and a thriller novel currently.
Exercise
This one is probably the hardest but considering part of my reason for feeling depressed is my current weight and body type...I really need to focus on moving my body. I love doing yoga but sometimes I feel like more movement is needed so sometimes I'll follow a dance fitness tutorial on Youtube. I also sometimes just want to go to the fishing lake and the walk there is so lovely.
Making Plans
Having something to look forward to - although you may dread it come the time - is a good way to keep yourself pepped up. I planned to spend lots of time with my sister-in-law and niece, a weekend stay at Legoland, a tattoo appointment and a nail appointment. Admittedly, I've spent more money than I wanted to, but it's all to stop me from staying in bed feeling miserable all day!
None of these are a cure for depression, but all these little things are good distractions from it. I'm a big believer in fake it until you make it. Never stop talking about how you're feeling though. I think that admitting to people how I feel is the biggest thing that keeps me going in life. I never used to talk about it and that is when I would do harmful things. Being open and honest - to the right people - is what gets me through the day when I'm feeling low.
Until next time,
Saph x
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