Saturday, 12 August 2017

A Life Changing Night & The Importance of Donating Blood

If you follow me on Twitter you've probably seen some cryptic tweets hinting at something I've been struggling with. Well, I've finally been able to put it into words. 

My labour was a fairly long one, I was in latent (early) labour for about five days. I wasn't dialated enough to stay in the hospital until Saturday 29th July. I was taken to the midwife led unit where I got super high on gas and air, and moved from bed to exercise ball, back to bed and eventually the birthing pool. I was in there for about an hour before they got me out and broke my waters for me. Everything is just a blur from there. 

I know I ended up in the labour ward and eventually started pushing. I was pushing for ages and Charlie just wasn't coming. Eventually they made the decision to take me into theatre for an emergency c-section. I felt like I was in there for hours before I finally heard my baby crying, and even then I only realised what the noise was when Mum said 'Blimey he's got a pair of lungs on him!' 

Then they seemed to take forever putting me back together and my hands were so shakey. Apparently that was due to the anaesthesia wearing off. Eventually they wheeled me back to recovery and I was still shaking, and getting cold too. I didn't know what was going on but they were obviously still working on me, and I could see one of them had a worried look on their face. 

Next thing I know, one of the doctors was straddling me and it felt like she was repeatedly pushing down on my stomach and then I was being wheeled back into surgery. I was still cold and shaking and then everything went...weird. I really can't explain it but at one point everything just seemed to stop, and I could feel myself panicking and like I couldn't breathe but I was determined to hold on. Then everything seemed to rewind, and the next thing I know is that I'm waking up at 10am the next morning on an unfamiliar ward. ITU.

Eventually I caught the attention of a nurse or doctor (they all wear the same uniform, why) and she took my breathing tube out. Yeah, I had a breathing tube down my throat, that was interesting. Shortly after taking it out Mum, Dave, Ash and his Mum came to see me. They all looked worried sick. 

I got to have a brief chat with them before a surgeon came to see me. He explained to me that after my c-section I wouldn't stop bleeding. I was in and out of surgery multiple times over the course of seven hours. I lost eight pints of blood, and the eight pints they replaced it with. In fact I lost so much that nobody really seems clear about how much exactly I lost, but they had to get blood transferred from London because I went through my hospitals supply. In the end they had to make a decision.

They had to take my womb, and the top of my uterus to save my life. Honestly I don't know how that works but I'm just grateful to be here, and that I get to watch my beautiful little boy grow up. Of course this means that if I want to have any more children in the future, I will have no choice but to adopt or find a surrogate.

 I feel like I tempted fate a little bit. I know that logically there's a medical reason behind it but I can't help but feel like I brought it on myself. I managed to convince myself a long time ago that I was going to end up having a c-section, and I repeatedly said that I was 'never doing it again'. It's probably just coincidence but you can't deny the foreshadowing there. Also when I signed up to donate blood a month or so ago; I remember thinking 'I bet I end up needing a blood transfusion.' 

Occasionally I do struggle with not being able to have any more kids, and it's so scary to think I almost died but on the whole I am really grateful to the team who did everything they could to save me. And to the people who donated blood. I must owe my life to close to 100 people (including the surgeons) if not more, and without those donations I would not be here. I wouldn't have been able to raise my son. 

I guess what I really want to say is please donate blood if you can. You might never know it but you could save a life. Even that random girl whose blog you occasionally read. 

Sign up to donate blood here



11 comments:

  1. That sounds absolutely terrifying - no wonder you weren't able to put it into words straight away! I'm so sorry that you had such a horrific experience, and so glad that you made it through. It's true testament that our health service is one of, if not the, best in the world. I hope you make a speedy recovery. I've wanted to donate blood for years, but can't due to medical reasons - I know they recently relaxed a lot of rules but unfortunately type 1 diabetes wasn't one of them! But everyone should donate if they can - it makes such a difference. Hopefully you can now focus on getting to know your new arrival - who is adorable, by the way! :) x

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  2. Oh Saph I got teary eyed reading this. You went through such a horrible experience but I'm so happy you have your little Charlie and importantly that you are still here! Sometimes life throws curveballs at us, this one being a massive one for you. I've always said I'm going to donate blood but I've never gotten round to it, but honestly, seeing that someone I'm close to relied so much on it I'm going to book myself in this month to donate blood. I hope you're recovering well babe, you're amazing!

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  3. Oh my god hun, im so glad you are ok. What an ordeal to go through. You are tough and dont blame yourself, I think I told myself over and over again I would end up dead or with a c sec but I didnt, it just happens to some people unfortunately, you will get better, your little man still has.his mummy and like you said, in the future there are plenty of children who need a second chance for a loving family xx sending love and hugs xx

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  4. I actually cried reading this. I Had no idea what was going on but I'm just so glad you're okay and will be able to raise your little one. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of pain you have been going through. I'm so sorry this happened to you, hun. I've signed up to give blood 💜

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  5. Oh my goodness I had no idea this had happened. I had tears in my eyes reading this. I'm so so sorry for what you went through and what you're now facing. However you have a beautiful son and I'm sure have managed to convince many people to donate blood after reading this, so I'm sure by sharing this you have saved people's lives right back and I hope that offers some comfort. Your little boy is lucky to have such a strong and brave mummy. I'm off to book in to donate blood in your honour xxx

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  6. You are a trooper my lovely �� Made me very emotional reading this but I'm so glad that you've posted this and hopefully lots of people will sign up to donate blood �� You're going to be the best mummy to your little Charlie ������

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  7. Oh my darling, this made me so emotional. I'm sorry you had to go through so much. I'm so glad you're okay, and it sounds like you're already an incredible Mum to Charlie. I'm sure by sharing this, so many people will be inspired to sign up to donate blood. So glad you're okay, beautiful photo of you and Charlie xxx

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  8. Oh my god, I'm glad you're okay!! A least you get to experience this amazing little boy you have!

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  9. Sounds like a lot to handle and come to terms with! I'm really sorry you had to go through that. So glad you and Charlie are doing well xxx

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  10. You are so beautiful and brave and Charlie is my beautiful darling little grandson I'm so proud of you both I'm here for you - always love you , mum xxx

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  11. Wow... this sounds like a lot to handle, I know I wouldn't cope nearly as well as you have! Thank you for writing this post - I have been umming and ahhing on whether to give blood for a while now and this post has convinced me that it is definetly something I need to do sooner rather than later.

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